The Dork Squad

I don't know how I got mixed up with this bunch; I was one of the cool kids. Of course, that was over 20 years ago and I'm not sure how much longer I can hang on to that reputation. Anyway, I'm beginning to feel a little like I'm in the land of misfit toys when it comes to my family.

Perhaps, a little explanation is in order. Over the summer we went to the lake with friends. Braveheart took one of the younger children aside when he needed to go pee. So, now they are forever know as "pee buddies." Which in and of itself is an endearing tale, but now, it's beginning to take on a life of it's own. For her 16th birthday, Braveheart has decided to order personalized license plates that say PBUDE. When I was 16, I would have sooner died then advertise this fact. I am further annoyed that I might actually drive this car with said license plates from time to time. And while having to go pee constantly after three children, or crossing my legs when I sneeze is a major part of my life now, I'm not ready for the PBUDE sign.

Secondly, I'm fairly certain that Prince Lawn Gnome has actually shaved part of his eyebrows. He vehemently denies doing such, but stubble is stubble. I'm not sure what he was thinking, but a monobrow is definitely growing in.

And now today, Songbird calls me at work with an "emergency." It seems that all three kids have locked themselves in the basement and cannot get out. Just how exactly do you lock yourself in the house? Long story short, they did. However, this still did not constitute an actual emergency in my book as they have a bathroom, two televisions, Internet access, every game system known to man, and a mini fridge fully stocked with pop, string cheese and an ample supply of Doritos. My response, "just wait till your Dad gets home."

I love these guys from the bottom of my heart, but truly sometimes I feel like the mom of the dork squad.