The Itsy Bitsy Spider

I'm awake. I'm awake and I'm not happy about it. Only those that work nights can truly understand how possessive I've become about my sleep. Only today, there won't be any rest for the weary all because of an itsy, bitsy spider. Somewhere, somehow without my knowledge a spider bit me. I don't think I've been bit by a spider since I was a kid. But, now after throbbing pain, fire like pain to the touch, radiating heat and knot like feel... I'm worried. Worried that the itsy, bitsy spider in question may be of the Brown Recluse variety. So, I'm going to the doctor and you know I think it's important if I'm a)losing sleep over this and b) going to see the doctor who has the bed side manner of a pet rock.

Do you have any idea how incredibly pissed I'm going to be if this disrupts my vacation? If I'm unable to get into the water or swim with the dolphins? Do you know how incredibly pissed I'm going to be if I have to have any part of my abdomen cut into and it isn't because of a tummy tuck?

Sorry, I get a little cranky when I'm tired.

Say a little prayer for me in hopes that this will all stay under control.

Rest and Reflection

Today my bible study was on rest. How to run a good race with appropriate physical and spiritual rest throughout the journey. It was enlightening. So many times when I think I'm resting, I'm really just being lazy. Or even if I'm truly resting, I'm feeling guilty for doing so.

This particular topic is calling out to me like an ambulance with a big red shining light on top. We need to rest. As a family, as a couple, as individuals we have been running a race to tend to the urgent. Our time is spent running from one activity or project to another. Funny how the projects never end. There is never a day when every one's needs are met and all are content.

I think all these reasons are why my hubby is soooo happy that he and I are taking a vacation to celebrate our anniversary. Yes, the Oceangypsymom is returning to the ocean! We are taking our first cruise. Now, I'm excited, but before I can officially relax, there are a lot of details to attend to. My hubby on the other hand, is excited now. Everyday, he counts down the time till departure. Everyday, he finds another element of the trip to check into. I don't think I realized how fast he has been running his race until now. I think all this excitement is a direct result over having run a particularly long and energy-draining time. He's in the home stretch and rest is just around the corner. Oh, Lord, I pray there is not a hurricane!

Working Through the Boring

So, after so many posts, I've been, well, bored with myself. Bored with blogging about my life, and seriously considering if this whole venture has run it's course. But, then, well, I decided that it is probably part of the process. I'm sure this is what the whole "writer's block" is about. And, wouldn't you know that life would offer up a little drama.

Within the last forty-eight hours I've experienced:

1. God's provision. The Cavalier was making a weird grinding sound. No doubt, Braveheart hasn't noticed as she has been all over town with the radio BLASTING. Anyway, just as I was making a mental note to tell the hubby about the sound, the car died. It literally died, and God's provision, it died just as I pulled into the driveway!

2. New job stress is here. Yes, this job is real now. My first month to do the schedule and there are seven vacation shifts to fill and one coworker has decided to retire... in two weeks. So, now that puts it at 15 shifts to fill for September.

3. The overhearing of a very disturbing conversation that involves a tampon. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say that even I, as a woman, am fairly grossed-out.

4. And, just so I don't get too high-and-mighty, I just noticed that a button on my blouse was unfortunately undone. Undone and revealing a peek-a-boo game with my post three babies, stretch-marks are natural stomach, I can only hope no one else noticed! So, maybe, just maybe, boring is over and life is back in full swing.

Open Your Eyes!

I've often heard news stories about women that were repeatedly abused by their husbands. I often wondered why they would subject themselves over and over to that kind of treatment. I find it hard to wrap my brain around it. But, then I met a VERY special lady. She is a saint on Earth. Her marriage is hard, very hard. Her husband a control freak. Over the years, I've seen him isolate her more and more. I've listened to her complain about how he controls and manipulates her by controlling all the money. I've listened to her. I've prayed with and for her. I've prayed for him. And still, no answers, no improvement.

They have bright, sensitive and all around wonderful children, but they can't help but be warped by this type of situation. I wonder what kind of marriages they themselves might have one day. I wonder if they will try to intervene when they feel that they are big enough. Will they try to defend their mother and be caught in the crossfire?

My heart aches for this friend. I've been downright in her face, "this is not normal" and "this is not safe." She's not listening. She is rationalizing. She rationalizes every action and reaction. I want to help her, but I don't want to send her husband over the deep end, and as a consequence, isolate her more. I don't want to turn on the news and see their story. How can you help someone that won't open her eyes and see the situation for what it really is? She is too close to see the forest from the trees.

There are no easy answers to this, I know, but I am looking for any advice as to how to actually help without making things worse for her. I feel paralyzed and the waiting for her to do something, anything is excruciating.

I Found Something!!

I've known my hubby for nearly 19 years now. When we first met, we had lots to talk about, lots to learn about one another and lots of plans to put in place. As is typical, over the years we have learned all one another's stories, idiosyncrasies, and such. We've tried to find hobbies over the years that we BOTH would enjoy to no avail. I'm not much into bowling or golf, he's not much into trips to Barnes N Noble for overpriced coffee and the smell of new books.

The children have filled in the void nicely. At first, they gave us lots of joy and laughter and then heartache and gray hair. (Typical, I know.) But, now they too are getting older and we're not as enamored with them anymore. The reality of them eventually moving out is becoming more and more real. I actually packed four "Kick Out" boxes of dishes the other day.

So, it has come to our attention that we need to find an activity that we enjoy together. Prospects were looking grim and then tonight we sat down side by side with our new-to-us laptops and spent some "quality" time together. True, he is a little aggravated by my obvious lack of computer know how, (I think I heard a growl), but as I see it, this is his chance to teach me something I don't already know. And, I promise to be a good student! No back talk! So, I think I might have found something, at least for now.