Pumpkin Pie!!!

T minus 4 days and counting till Turkey day!!! And, only T minus 1 1/2 days till we head to Grandma's house for the blessed occasion. Blessed occasion, indeed, all occasions that include pumpkin pie with Cool Whip, pecan pie, Grandma Rosie's rolls, and all the fixin's is high on my priority list right now. Maybe it's because since I started Weight Watchers my thoughts are obsessed with food.

I can hardly watch television without salivating over the commercials. Someone walked by me at work today with a bag of McDonald's fries and I nearly grabbed it out of their hands. Another group sent out for Starbucks! I was good, I didn't cave and actually it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. But, mostly because I'm telling myself, just look forward to the pumpkin pie. It better be good. You know how you can work up a thing in your mind to near perfection... at this point, I can settle for no less.

Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of undoing the work that's been done (8.8 lbs in one month), but I plan on enjoying every bite to the fullest. I can't undo the work, because that would mean I would actually break down and cry in front of a group of complete strangers and then I'd have to change meetings. Yes, there is an ample amount of vulnerability there. I'm feeling FRAGILE. There should be a sign on my forehead "Explosives: Handle with Care."

So, here's looking forward to the food and the family, the fun and the not-s0-fun, the same ol' and the brand new (New Moon). Hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Blah

I knew it was coming, the Winter Blah. The Blah that you have to push through in order to get anything accomplished. The Blah that just lulls you into bed and a marathon of bad t.v. Yes, the Blah that seeps into your soul and robs you of any desire, joy or ambition. Oh, I hate winter.
I need sunshine! I need birds chirping and welcoming me into a great day outside. Instead, there is a drizzle out there, a cold damp that you can't quite shake. It's going to be a long season.

It's scary because it is at times like this when I think, "maybe, a vibrant shade of red on my hair would perk me up?" Or, "maybe a little shopping would help?" It's scary because this time of year puts me on the edge, the very edge. Where it doesn't take much to push me off into a bad haircut and sweats. I'm already teetering from the changes I've been forced to make over Weight Watchers. Last night I came home from work to a pan full of brownies WITH NUTS. Major temptation! I cut the smallest piece known to man. It tasted so good it scared me straight out of the kitchen. I can't go back in there. Obviously, chocolate is my crack.

Just how am I supposed to combat the Blah if chocolate is taken out of my arsenal?

Oh, Christmas Tree

I've been fighting it, but it's really on my mind. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is just pulling at me this year. I think that it jumpstarted when I pulled into the driveway of a very good friend expecting a typical week of bible study. Imagine my surprise to see Santa waving me in. That's right, she decorated her house and cooked a Christmas meal with all the trimmings as an early surprise. It worked. The whiskey soused turkey put it over the top!

So, all day today I fought the urge to drag out all the decorations from the attic and set them up early. I mean, after all, I'm not hosting Thanksgiving.... why not? And then the thought of the ol' Christmas tree came to mind. And all the trees of Christmas past. When we first bought our artificial tree I swore that it would always look good. I vowed not to smash it back into the box from which it came. Every year, I carefully pack it away and bag up the tree top to leave PLENTY of room. But, seriously, it hasn't helped. Last year, I noticed that it took an incredibly long time of fluffing and sprucing to fan out the branches appropriately. Yet, huge holes resembling the Charlie Brown tree were still there. I hung exceptionally large ornaments in the holes, trying to camouflage... Still, not great.

And, then a brilliant thought! Why not buy a new one? A smaller version. One that actually didn't require the removal of living room furniture to fit into the room (I swear it didn't look that big on the showroom floor). One that wouldn't take half a day to wrap in lights and that would only hold the best looking ornaments. Surely, I could just set one on a coffee table near the window. I mean seriously, gifts for teenagers come in very small electronic sized packages or money envelopes.... no more bikes or Tonka trucks to wrap. Why not evolve?

Yes, it is a brilliant idea, but why does it make me feel OLD? Like the Grandma that doesn't care enough to go all out anymore? I twinge of guilt struck. So, I asked Prince Lawn Gnome what he thought about getting a new tree, "maybe, a smaller one?" A look of complete betrayal, similar to the time when he found out Santa wasn't real came across his face. "We can't get a new tree! Not unless it's a REAL one."

A real one... I had not thought of a real one. We used to trudge out into the tree farm looking for the perfect tree, back before I realized that such adventures are detrimental to marriages. A real one? Not a bad, nostalgic idea... so maybe, just maybe we will venture out once again trying to appease five conflicting personalities all in the name of memories.

An Argument With Myself

Good Self: Let's make an apple pie to welcome fall. I have plenty of points left in the day!

Good Self: MMMM!!! Yummy

Two days later
Good Self: Why is no one else finishing off this pie? It sure was good. But, I'm not going to have any. No, I will be disciplined!

The next day
Bad Self: Oh, well just one more piece. I'll account for the points. It'll be worth it later.

Good Self (Later that day): Man, I'm low on points...must have been the pie. Not sure it was worth it.

Two days later:
Good Self Fighting with Bad Self: I'm going to have to throw the last two pieces of this pie away. What a waste (notice the frugality here). Well, I could eat one piece... only 8 points...

Bad Self: "It's only really like one piece left, I mean really, half the filling is falling out of the other one...I could just finish this off and there wouldn't be any waste."

Bad Self: Okay, mark down 8 points.

Good Self: Who are you kidding? That was a full piece and a half worth of pie at least and that is at least 12 points.

Bad Self: Oh, come on, you think? Really?

Good Self: If you can't be honest with me then it's never going to happen.

Later that day: Dang, negative 3 points for the day. Mental note don't eat any more pie till Thanksgiving.

Anyone else out there actually arguing and lying to yourself? Very revealing.