The Talk, Well Sort Of...

The hubby is a total crack up. I actually caught him watching Dr. Oz yesterday. The topic? Oh, the gentle topic of having the sex talk with your kids. Now, mind you, Dr. Oz is not a show that the hubby would normally tune into. If it's not blowing up the Earth, the imminent demise of the Earth and all its inhabitants, the latest volcanic eruption, or the doom of the next asteroid to into our atmosphere, he usually doesn't watch it. So, why now? Could it be from our previous day's conversation?
Previous day, after church: "Where's Songbird?" I innocently ask.
Hubby: "At the movies."
Oceangypsymom: "With who?"
Hubby: "Friends."
Oceangypsymom: "What kind of friends? You don't know who she went to the movies with?"
Hubby: "Of course, I do. She went with ***** (name protection)."
Oceangypsymom: "Well, if she went with *****, then you can be sure that they are meeting some boys there."
Hubby: Dead Silence
Oceangypsymom: "Honey, you really have to be up on this kinda stuff. I mean, I'm counting on you here. You ALWAYS need to know the who, what, when, where, why and how of every situation."
Hubby: More Silence, then the subtle thud of a daddy's heart into the pit of his stomach.

Back to the sex talk and Dr. Oz. Not five minutes after the Dr. Oz episode, Songbird comes home from school. Poor girl, she is completely unaware that her father is teetering on the edge of the abyss, that he is clinging to the edge and desperately fighting not to fall off. In an attempt to be a good father, to not let an opportunity pass him by, and with complete and utter lack of planning or preparation he asks, "Songbird, can you name 5 STD's?" Great opening line, don't you think? Nothing like putting her at ease and making her feel completely comfortable.
One hour later, not much conversation has taken place due to Songbird's fingers in her ears and her curled up fetal position on the couch. She's yelling, "I'm only 12!"
Bless my hubby's heart, but my work here is never done. Now, I know why God hasn't called me home yet. These kids do still need me!

A Tortoise

Slow and steady wins the race right? That seems to be the theme of our lives lately. Everyday there is more to be done than can possibly be accomplished, but everyday we try, everyday we have some successes and some failures, and we're learning to be okay with that. Okay, I'm learning to be okay with that. It's hard to do a little of everything and not really do any one thing well. Case in point, my first class (in forever). I misunderstood the directions for the first two weeks, result.... a D. It's okay, I can make it up. Now that I'm clear as to the expectation, I can meet it, but truly living that philosophy physically requires me to take a deep breath.
It's okay that the laundry table is overflowing with laundry...right? At least everyday an attempt is made at keeping it in process. It's okay that expiration dates should be checked before drinking any milk from the fridge, right? It's okay that homeschool is having a sick day today for a low grade fever, right?
So, for those whose phone calls haven't been returned promptly, please don't take it personally. No one's calls are being returned promptly. I am the tortoise that is in the race for the long haul. I'll eventually catch up to you and the world that keeps on spinning. Someday, I'll actually see the Oscar nominated movies before the Oscars!
One piece of good news, 21 lbs of weight loss so far!!!! Feeling motivated in this department. Starting to see clothes that are way too big come out of the closet!!! I will have to go shopping soon and I'm actually looking forward to it.

Strangs Groans from the Basement

There is a particularly nasty sound coming from the basement. Groaning??? Or maybe a cat in heat??? All to a rhythmic banging of sticks... no it sounds vaguely like chanting, as if some ritual sacrifice was taking place. But no, it's yet another version of Rockband and all the neighborhood kids playing. Why, oh, why won't they let Songbird do the singing? Why do we all have to be subjected to this monotonous, blood-curdling exhibit of lyrics just for points?
I think that it's just ridiculous to encourage the poor boy any further. He cannot sing! I can barely take it and I'm one floor removed. How they can all be in the same room for hours (marathon session) and continually subject their ears to such obvious lack of anything melodic is beyond me. Oh, yes, they are making it much easier for me to look forward to going to work today!

In with the New

Happy New Year! I am coming to you from under the complete warmth of my electric blanket. This is my new perch as it seems Old Man Winter has decided to come in with a vengeance and hasn't any plans of leaving. I seriously hate the cold. I actually skipped church yesterday as not to leave the cozy, cuddled up security of my bed for the frozen reality of the outside world. Scraping windows is on the Top Ten List of things I hate to do.

When not completely hunkered down, the Oceangypsymom family has been cleaning, organizing, and entertaining. It is with great enthusiasm that I announce that we have taken back the house. It was temporarily hijacked by holidays and all the paraphernalia that goes with them. But, alas, when combined in a common cause, a worthy one at that, we prevailed. And just in time for all the new beginnings ushered in for the New Year.

New beginnings you ask? Yes, in a moment of complete and total lack of sanity, I re enrolled as a student. You heard me, a college student. You know the kind... sleep deprived, caffeine dependent, paper writing, test taking sort. I willingly added myself to their ranks and now the reality of that decision has come full circle. First online class begins today. Am I crazy or just plain stupid? The "why???" question has been plaguing me since I logged on and discovered that I have an outline due for a final paper in five weeks. Five weeks! Five weeks in my world is like a blink, and seriously, I haven't written an outline in at least ten years. Do you think the instructor would accept the following?


Assignment

I. Random thoughts on assignment.

a. Not substantiated by any real research as I am soooo used to my opinion being the end all of any needed research.

II. Opinionated tirade on assignment.

a. Again not substantiated by any research other than the opinions of girlfriends who more than not will simply agree with my first point.

Probably won't fly huh? Hope all is well for all of you in 2010. Keep me in mind as you go about your business, perhaps looking for a white flag of surrender in case I go down in flames.