7 years, 44 days and 1 hour

Don't be surprised if you see me on the eleven o'clock news:

Oceangypsymom literally jumped off a cliff today when she realized that she had 7 years, 44 days and 1 hour left to go before her children moved out! She was seen wandering the neighborhood mumbling, "how many times have I picked up these socks?" Friends and neighbors feigned surprise, but they had been privy to the routinely unkempt oceangypsy house. According to their reports, mountains of laundry, crusted dishware, and a yard full of bicycles or skate boards was the norm. When questioned by authorities, her hubby, revealed that she frequently fantasized about a clean house in which she could relax and breathe deep. No amount of Yankee candles, Downey softener or Merlot seemed to make a difference.

The perpetrators (otherwise known as the children) of the messiness proclaim that they are innocent of all charges "wasn't me." They have no known memory of repeated pleadings, to pick up clothing off of bathroom floors, to turn off lights when leaving rooms or to feed the dogs. This reporter was surprised at the lack of empathy the perpetrators had towards their mother's plight. They were instead more concerned with their Rock Band, Runescape and Facebook status.

The final straw appeared to be a half eaten meal that was prepared "just the way they liked it last week." Apparently, the rendering of the meal was met with a pitiful amount of gratitude and swiftly set aside for the dogs to eat. Unable to force herself to clean the dishes just one more time, the Oceangypsymom penned a quick note to her hubby. Remember me as I was once. Remember the woman you fell in love with. With that she took off in the neighbors Mustang convertible and never looked back. Onlookers, report her last words were... 7 years.... 44 days... and 1 more hour...