Okay, So I Lied

I would like to think that for the most part I am a pretty honest person. I learned my lesson as a kid. I would spin lie after lie and then really have trouble keeping track of all of them. Every so often I'd be subjected to a family meeting in which I'd be asked about all the lies I had perpetrated upon my family. I hated those meetings, because my clever stepdad never really revealed just how much he already knew. I had to be very careful not to rat myself out further.

Eventually, I figured out that it just wasn't worth the effort. The energy it takes to live the lie is exhausting and never pans out anyway. Truly, having led such a checkered childhood has had its advantages. For instance, I can spot a lie coming out of a child's mouth a mile away. Yes, this is one of my best super power mommy skills.

So, it actually came as a surprise to myself, when I heard the lies coming directly from my own lips. I didn't think about it before hand, I didn't mull over the best lie to tell, it just popped out all natural like (maybe a leopard can never really can change its spots). It was a small, white lie, but still. My dental hygienist surprised me, "how many times a week do you floss?" What kind of loaded question is that? It reminded me of when the lady at the drivers lisence bureau asked me how much I weighed. Seriously, these questions are of a personal nature.

The thing is, I hate going to the dentist. When you have had perpetually bad teeth your whole life, and every time you go you're made to feel like a criminal and then charged $600 for the lovely experience, well then, a few white lies here and there just make the whole thing tolerable. Ummmhh... "four times a week" (Obviously lying here). And, now, I'm thinking four times a week! I'm really going to have to actually step up the whole flossing routine or I'm definitely getting caught in this lie. Basically, I'm a 36 year old, fairly well adjusted, woman that turns into a lilly livered, coward whenever it comes to issues that have to do with taking care of myself. Don't ask me about my weight either!

So, I lied... sue me.