My Hero

If you stay married long enough, you begin to reveal things about yourself to your spouse that you NEVER thought you'd share with another human being. It starts out small. Maybe a little gas or belch. Then it's "honey, while you're out, can you pick up some pads?" Childbirth, need I say more? Oh, and one of my personal favorites, snoring. With each passing year the layers peel away, little by little and if they don't completely horrify you then they bring you closer. When you've revealed the worst and are still loved... it's a good feeling.

Getting older is adding a whole new dimension to this phenomenon. We are truly mere shadows of those strangers that stood up and said "I do" 17 years ago. In many respects it's a good thing. They were shallow and very selfish. I'd like to think that we've grown since then.

This week I experienced a new, personal low. I fainted while in line for a roller coaster. Now, I can deal with the whole fainting part. I can use every excuse in the book. It was hot. I'm out of shape and there are three flights of stairs, blah, blah, blah. I can accept that, but what is sticking in my craw is the look on my husband's face when I came to. It was a look that I've never seen before and I know all his looks, or at least, I thought I did.

You see, I remember thinking as I was waiting in line that after this ride, I was going to have to find the nearest bathroom.... and that's when the lights went out, game over, woman down, bladder relieved. That's right, I peed. Thankfully, my darling hubby, my hero, caught me. Later, he said that he was trying to shield me from the crowd. But what I couldn't quite make out, and maybe I don't really want to know the answer, is was he trying to shield me from the crowd to hide my embarrassment or his? That look on his face. It was unreadable.

Now, he spent the rest of the day taking care of me. Fetching me water and being completely attentive, just like when we were dating. Hmmm... note to self. Just kidding. Anyway, I WANT to believe the best in him. I WANT to believe that he was only thinking of me and being noble. But, really, what if he was just going through the motions, because that's what husbands are supposed to do. What if really, deep down, he's disgusted? Who could blame him? It's not like you ever plan on having a day like that.

For now, I'm content to refer to him as my hero and leave it at that, and hopefully, it stays that way.