A Whole New World.....

It's been 36 years. For 36 years I've lived with a smoker. My dad smoked, my stepdad smoked and my hubby smoked. It's been over a month and my hubby is doing great. Dare I say it? I think he's quit, officially quit. And now, it's the little things that we're noticing, like no ashes to dust off the end table. No ash trays need emptying. Today, I washed my curtains and guess what, they won't smell like smoke in a week! The car window isn't always cracked open (which was highly offensive after a night of rain). The next time I travel and open my suitcase, the smoke smell won't knock me on my butt!
But, by a long shot, the very best side effect to my hubby not smoking is the fact that we can actually go places on time! We no longer have to make the last minute run to the gas station for cigarettes and coffee. QuikTrip will definitely see a decline in their profits.
Even my hubby has noticed lifestyle changes. He is trying to figure out how to decompress after being anxious or angry. He no longer has the two minute smoking ritual to calm down. And, he actually commented on how bad his car smelled! I cannot believe it. Finally. He finally knows what I've been putting up with. It really is a whole new world.

Day Two...

Can you say powder keg? Day two of hubby not smoking has been typical. Edginess, crabiness, downright rudeness... mental note... call Chantrix 1-800 number to complain about lack of effectiveness. I have spent a good part of the day using avoidance as a self defense mechanism. However, that was only possible for half the day. Jointly, we went to Satanmart (commonly know as Walmart) to pick up birthday party supplies for Songbird. It wasn't pretty. Hubby found it necessary to comment on each item on the list. Then, we bought up all the no smoking aids we could find, otherwise known as on-sale Easter candy. Have you spent an eternity in the card aisle with a grown man that has to listen to every single musical card out there before? Again, not pretty. By this time I'm reverting back to Lamaze breathing techniques... patience... just a little patience...

What seemed like an hour later, we finally made it to the other side of the store. I'm picking up coffee creamer for myself. I swear there's something addictive in the Coffemate Creamers. I was bummed because it looks like they may not be making Chocolate Raspberry anymore. I should have never mentioned it out loud, because once again the hubby finds it necessary to comment on the choices. Still doing Lamaze, I continue halfway down the aisle ignoring his rant, when suddenly I hear, "Woman! Are you listening to me?"

Now, I LOVE my hubby. I know he's edgy. I know he is not acting with any ounce of normalcy, but did I hear him say "Woman?" He did NOT just call me "Woman!" in the middle of Satanmart! Major Lamaze breathing at this point. More breathing. More breathing. It is possible to come down from a near murder pinnacle if you really, really try. Oh, my gosh. It is only day two.

Day One...

Day one... my hubby is trying to quit smoking... again. I had actually forgotten that today was D day until I heard the unwrapping of multiple Jolly Ranchers come from his side of the bed. This time he's trying Chantrix. It's worked for two people that we personally know. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, because, well you see, I've been here before. I've been at day one before... four times. Day one really isn't all that bad in comparison to let's see... day 14. The day that is forever ingrained in my mind when I actually heard myself say, "This is ridiculous just smoke already!"

For the record, I hate the smoking. I hate the smell. I hate that my clothing smells like smoke too, even though I've never been a smoker. I hate that each time I wash my curtains they come out looking two shades lighter in color. I hate the ash trays that I constantly empty. I hate the smell in the car. I hate the money spent on the cigarettes.

I go back and forth on how much I blame my hubby and his responsibility for all this or the tobacco companies. Truly, he is addicted. His efforts to quit have been genuine and they are long and drawn out battles. He suffers and we suffer as a family. The kids are bracing for major grouchiness and edginess. It's hard to be good cheerleaders when we've been bit by this before only to go back to the regularly scheduled smoking program. And, yet, there is that tiny, glimmer of hope. In the meantime, we will keep a well stocked drawer of candy and tread lightly.