What?

It's painful, downright painful. It makes me want to scream out to God, "Are you freakin' kidding me?" I married young, had kids right away and basically spent my youth living for everyone else. So, here I am, smack dab in the middle of middle age, trying hard just to survive through the teenage years with the kids. I'm fighting the good fight, trying to grow and nurture a nearly 20 year relationship with my hubby. I'm working in a job and not a career because turning a job into a career is very time consuming and time is at a premium right now. So, it is (in my humble opinion) a cruel twist of fate that I am thrust forward into this new phase.

I knew that there was SOMETHING going on with me, but frankly, I was chalking it up to simply going off the deep end. Something a few bottles of wine, a weekend away with my girlfriends and a little chocolate could cure. But then it happened, and then, it happened again and again and again. I started dying of heat in the middle of the night. I caught myself burning up while the AC was only on 64 degrees. That was an ah-ha moment of my own. Still in denial, I asked my hubby if I felt feverish. But after several weeks, the mysterious fever that came and went in the middle of the night was not making sense. So, I braved it. I braved the Internet and that oh so charming website that can scare the crap out of you, WebMD.

My WebMD diagnosis.... perimenopause. I'm 36 freakin' years old people! Am I not entitled to a few good years before all this crap starts? Perimenopausal? It's kinda hard to deny when you have 10 out of 11 symptoms on the freakin' chart. 10 out of 11! I can't do anything halfway.

Here's my favorite part of this web info and I quote, "Menopause is a natural part of growing older. You don't need treatment for it unless your symptoms bother you." Bother me? Right now, EVERYTHING bothers me. I'm having a flashback to when I was 12 years old and mom was telling me not to be worried about getting my period. That it was "natural". She sold me a bill of goods then and this is strangely like deja-vu.

Oh, yeah, another favorite tidbit of advice, "Limit caffeine, alcohol and stress." SURE, I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT. Did I mention that I'm only 36 years old? Now, I really have to make that OBGYN appointment that I meant to keep a few years back. Let me get out my red pen and put a big circle on that day. I'd frankly rather have a root canal.

I'm sorry. This blog might just turn into some aches and pains, put me out of my misery type of blog. I'll try to keep it under control. I don't want to be THAT woman. Shoot me if I turn into THAT woman! So, in the interest of sanity and all that is holy, I am open to advice. Pour it on people, I'm clearly behind the eight ball here.