I'm goin' Grandma

Maybe it's inevitable. I hope not, but I'm beginning to recognize the signs. I'm beginning to turn into my mother. That's right, I'm goin' grandma. It starts subtly at first, but it's a slippery slope into elastic waste pants and housecoats. Honestly, the first time grandma style won out over "in style" was when after a dreaded day in really cute boots, I noticed what I thought might be referred to as a bunion beginning to make itself known on the side of my toe! Couple that with the "I think I might die" steps of pain in those boots and they were history. That's right I sacrificed fashion for comfort.

The next to go were the full-set manicures. Have you ever had them peeled off before? Seriously, we could use this as a means of torture for Al-Qaeda terrorists with great results. Never again.

Okay, okay I admit it. I have owned a holiday sweater or two. I never actually purchased them, but I did wear them. Thankfully, after a million episodes of What Not to Wear, I purged them from my closet. Did I really look as pitiful as all those women in the 360 degree mirror?

Yes, I own the dreaded skirted bathing suit. Yes, I've purchased the Miracle suit featured on Oprah. And, no, neither one made my ass look any smaller.

I actually had the cutest little beaded strand made specifically for my reading glasses. I thought my girlfriends were going to stage an intervention (I heard those snickers). Perhaps, it was a good thing when I snapped the string and the beads went flying all over the kitchen floor. Now I'm thinking bifocals...

One of the most frustrating for me is the need to constantly cover the gray hair. It doesn't really matter if I pay to have it done or if I take matters into my own hands. It always comes out looking like... like... well, grandma! I've tried everything and I'm never completely satisfied. If it's going to look bad anyway, why not just give in and let it go gray naturally? I can hear a few of you now, "back away from the cliff."

But the killer, the real sign that I'm goin' grandma is that it kills me to spend the money to actually look and feel better. Looking good on the cheap isn't easy. I need help! I need professional help! I want to look cute. I want my hubby to take a second and even a third glance. And, I don't want to feel guilty about the funds needed to get to that point. I'm too young for this. Is it just me or does it take more and more effort to look good these days?